Merge Regret

[Bass Guitar Intro – Tight riff, dry room tone]

(Bass-driven groove, slowly building)
No tests.
No docs.
No clue.
Good luck, mate.
[Intro – Sarcastic yell]

Did you even look?
Did you even branch?!
No tests, no plan —
Just straight to the lance.
[Verse 1 – Punchy, staccato delivery]

You pushed to main like it’s your lane,
Skipped the pull, broke the chain.
Now prod’s on fire, ops on call,
All ’cause you wanted to “move fast” and ball.

No PR, no diff, just vibes —
Now every user sees the “503” signs.
[Chorus – Explosive]

Merge regret!
You skipped the check!
Now everyone’s screaming
“ROLL IT BACK, TECH!”

Merge regret!
No second net!
You coded like a cowboy
Now it’s code roulette.
[Verse 2 – Groove drops into grunge]

Dev said, “Who needs reviews?”
You just shipped the doom in your afternoon.
Now the boss is red, the app is dead —
And Git history’s full of dread.
[Verse 3 – Swung fuzz riff]

No issue link, no docs in sight —
Just a commit called “finalfix-right???”
You merged a warhead, wrapped in bold,
Now rollback’s cold and truth is told.
[Verse 4 – Dripping with sarcasm]

Oh, but it worked on your machine.
Yeah, the one with no firewall, no screen.
You said “trust me,” hit deploy —
Now prod’s a playground
For every bot boy.
[Bridge – Spoken over fuzz]

One push.
One click.
One Friday flick —
And here we are,
In chaos slick.
[Verse 5 – Bass-heavy chant rhythm]

Support’s asleep, but Slack’s on fire.
PR team’s feeding the wire.
You vanished fast —
No trace, no note —
Left your name on a sinking boat.
[Final Chorus – Full band with shout harmonies]

Merge regret!
No version saved!
Now rollback’s patching
A digital grave!

Next time test, next time split —
Don’t make prod
Eat your s#!t.
[Outro – Fuzz riff + silence]