Works on my machine

[Verse 1]
It works on local.
Course it does.
Perfect little sandbox kingdom, bruv.
Green ticks everywhere, feeling like Bezos,
Push to prod — now I’m praying to DevOps.

Changed the dot env, copied the files,
“Should be simple” — famous last trials.
Docker up, compose it down,
Why’s the database not found?

[Hook]
Works on local.
Dies on prod.
Same damn code — different god.

Works on local.
Fails live.
Now I’m questioning me entire drive.

[Verse 2]
SSL screaming, 500 page,
Permissions set like a medieval cage.
Uploads folder? Who owns that?
Why’s Nginx acting like a brat?

Git pull clean, container rebuilt,
Cold sweat forming, rising guilt.
“Just clear cache” — yeah nice try,
Why’s the login sending users to the sky?

[Hook]
Works on local.
Breaks online.
Thought I was sharp — turns out I’m blind.

Works on local.
Prod says no.
Now I’m arguing with a status code.

[Bridge – deadpan spiral]
Database migrated?
Maybe.
Cron jobs running?
Doubt it.

Volumes mounted?
Should be.
Backups working?
…Don’t ask.

[Final Section – chaotic unravel]
White screen.
No logs.
Debug off — like a proper mug.

Quick hotfix.
Push again.
Now it’s worse than it’s ever been.

Connection refused.
Container died.
Traffic spike? Nah — just pride.

Works on local — that’s the joke.
Prod just set the whole thing on smoke.

[Final Line – flat, defeated]
Deployed at midnight.
Dead by one.
Spectacular failure.
Production: none.