Hey Relax Guy (South Park)

A jazzy villain anthem from South Park’s Saddam/Trump hybrid, “Hey, Relax Guy” swings its way through delusion, denial, and pure ego. Between smug showtune verses and real-Trump-style chorus rage rants, it’s the musical meltdown no one asked for — and everyone deserves.

[Verse 1 – South Park Trump (singing, upbeat)]
Hey, relax guy, don’t look so grim,
I just wanna rule the world on a whim.
I got fake steaks and a fake degree,
But somehow still lead the GOP!

They cheer my lies, they boo your facts,
I throw a tantrum, they got my back.
Indicted? Sure. But I still grin,
'Cause jail time's just a way to win!
[Chorus 1 – Real Trump (spoken, agitated)]

    Look, these are sick people, very sick.
    That show is failing, okay? Nobody watches it.
    Sad animation. Very disgusting.
    I was the best president in history — they know it, I know it, everybody knows it.
    Relax? I’m the most relaxed! Nobody’s more relaxed than me.
    South Park? Low IQ losers. Nasty guys.

[Verse 2 – South Park Trump (singing again)]
Hey, relax guy, I’m just that great,
Told the Proud Boys to hydrate and wait.
I played golf while the world got hot,
Said bleach cures COVID — gave it a shot!

I dodge debates like I dodge the draft,
Then say it all with a smug-ass laugh.
They call it treason, I call it flair —
Just a little riot at the county fair!

[Chorus 2 – Real Trump (more aggressive)]

    They should be arrested! That episode is illegal.
    I never said that. That’s fake news.
    These people are part of the deep animation state.
    I’ve done more for cartoons than anyone.
    Trey and Matt? Never heard of them. Probably Antifa.
    Hey, RELAX? I’m not the one panicking — THEY ARE.

[Verse 3 – South Park Trump (singing, smug and swingy)]
Hey, relax guy, I'm just being me,
Took the Bible, held it up… awkwardly.
Tried to buy Greenland, nuked a storm,
Declared McDonald's the food of form.

My fans wear flags like they're designer,
Truth Social's dead — but I'm the headliner!
I’m the symptom, not the cure —
But you’ll still chant "Four more years!" for sure!


[Bridge – Saddam/Trump duet (harmony, theatrical)]

I’m not a dictator, I’m just misunderstood! 
I built a cult, but hey — it’s lookin’ good! 
I might be banned, indicted, shamed — 
But I got memes, and that's the same! 

[Chorus 3 – Real Trump (unhinged)]
    South Park has no ratings.
    I built an empire, they built Kenny.
    Disgraceful show. Not even funny.
    Everybody’s talking about how great I was — except THEM.
    But you know what? It’s all jealousy.
    I’m winning. Again. Always.

[Outro – Singing Trump again (fake sincerity)]
So hey, relax guy, take a breath —
I only dragged democracy half to death.
The truth is boring, my lies sell best…
You’re all still watching, so I must be blessed!